Need Poetry Rhyme?

I composed this poem on a rainy evening.
My friends said: "This is not poetry at all!"
Dad, too, was not the least convinced:
"Bad piece of work, my son. Improve."
And mother was particularly scathing:
"Bland and pointless. Drop it in the bin."
There was no hope in profs' words either:
"Care to hear my say? This is pure stool."
"But why?" I cried, "How's this not poetry?"
"That is quite evident", they all answered,
"A poem has a rhyme scheme, young man.
ABAB, AABB, ABBA, ABABB -- you name it.
Show us the rhymers in your - er - poem."
"So that was yer charge, eh?" said an irate I.
"Then 'tisn't my fault, sirs and ma'ams, that
When a poem stares you in the face, ye
Can't tell it is one. Bad 'nough ye didn't
Grant my piece its poetry status. Worse --
All ye pundits found it self-satisfying to
Call it a worthless frill and brand me a fake.
Worst -- ye all failed to notice that the
First words in each pair of lines rhyme!"

Limerick # 04: Not a Surd

There was a doped hostess who went high,
For no earthly reason she started to cry --
She beat her chest,
And kissed a guest,
And they said she was as irrational as π.

Rotten Rime

Buds mayn't blossom, snakes mayn't slither,
Joeys mayn't jump, but divorcees may date!
Falcons mayn't fly, bestfriends mayn't bother,
Bradmen mayn't bat, but all may alliterate!

Limerick # 03: The Nightboat Crew Club

The strict fourteen-member ship,
Elected to cancel his membership,
When helmsman John,
With all the lights on,
Pinched one female member's hip.
[ Note that lines 01, 02 & 05 are more than rhymers ;) ]

Oh Revered Judges

[The title was specified in the contest. Personally, I don't quite like this piece.]
Oh my revered judge, revered judge,
Plastered to your seat sans a budge,
Watching kiddish lawyers via your glasses --
How could you just listen to those asses?
How could you sit there tapping the gavel,
While the holy courtroom echoes with drivel?
Why did you acquit the former convict,
Whom you knew was the one who did it,
Just because his attorney the @$$hole
Had struck upon the law's loophole?
Just a single nut in your head loose,
Could send a guiltless guy to noose.
M'Lord! Justice is in the heart of Man,
Secondary is the verdict of your clan.
I gather you've mastered the law,
But not without too many a flaw!

Quackpot

'Doctor, doctor, I'm very ill'
'Patient, patient, pop a pill.
And now you try to keep your still,
For what you see here is your bill.'

Limerick # 02: The Transitory Larcenist

Came on board a pick-pocket,
Who did not purchase a ticket.
He took the conductor's purse,
And for better or worse,
Jumped off the bus and kicked the bucket.

Ubiquity

दीदी, यह हवा kidhar है?

वो hither है और thither है

Limerick # 01: Okapi

Once they let out a caged okapi,
Who hence turned terribly happy.
He excreted his goo
Throughout the zoo
And they put him in the dinner recipe.