I. The Nemean Lion
There was a full-time predator in Nemea
Suffering from pernicious anaemia.
Before he could delve
Into hunting B-twelve
Heracles lured him into academia.
II. The Lernaean Hydra
The lake of Lernaea was home to the hydra
Whose venomous fumes singed the hide raw.
For anybody Greek
Heracles v The Freak
Turned out to be that year's high draw.
III. The Golden Hind of Ceryneia
Whereas as asses it too has grass,
Despite its name a hind ain't an ass.
Now Heracles did pinch
Its every square inch,
But I can't stress enough that wasn't crass.
IV. The Erymanthian Boar
There was in Erymanthia a boar,
Until there it was no more.
As Heracles drifted,
It'd quietly shifted
Hearing it was Labour Number Four.
V. The Augean Stables
The stables of King Augeas stung your lung,
For three decades' worth of dung had clung.
Lest he lose his mind,
Heracles sought to find
The cleanest notes any tongue had sung.
VI. The Stymphalian Birds
Next he declared: "Stymphalia or bust!"
But met their fate
In his sly bait:
What chewed the plastic, bit the dust.
VII. The Cretan Bull
"I'm calf, not bull,
Grown half, not full.
Surely my feelings he'll tenderly treat?"
VIII. The Mares of Diomedes
Pegasus the beautiful, he could take wing;
Diomedes' terribles were man-eating.
Can you guess which
The hero had to hitch?
Why not the Trojan one? was his thinking.
IX. The Girdle of Hippolyta
The Herculean task
Was then to ask:
"Is your belt available on Prime?"
X. The Cattle of Geryon
The cattle! the battle!
Hark! the death rattle!
(OK, Geryon now lies with the pharaohs.)
XI. The Golden Apples of the Hesperides
The Hesperides' garden bore forbidden fruit
Whose juices immortalized the lowest brute.
Had our chap taken a bite
I'd've'd the pleasure to write
He was found impossible to hang or electrocute.
XII. Cerberus
Down in Hades to anyone who'd heed
Cerberus woofed, "Pray, what's my breed?"
He learnt it the day
H took him away:
One moment retriever, the next retrieved.
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Images from
https://www.kidslovegreece.com,
https://www.theoi.com,
https://www.vectorstock.com,
https://www.sciencephoto.com,
https://www.greekboston.com,
https://www.ipernity.com.
