Hourglass

Brigitte Bardot keeps off starch
And Greta Garbo hydrates,
Yet Humphrey lets his throat to parch
And bites them carbohydrates.

Rita Rudner lives on crumbs,
Marilyn Monroe, celeries;
Orson hungry when he becomes 
Eviscerates he sculleries.

Dancercises Lindsay Lohan,
Weightlifts Lucy Lawless;
"Burrrp" comes Denzel's slogan,
You wish he would gnaw less.

Amy Adams turns to pose, 
Lucy Liu winks;
Is that cheese on Joaquin's nose?
I bet his breath stinks.

Clerihews # 09 - 13: Bentley

Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Differed fundamentally
From Boswell and Watson --
Everyone was Holmes, anyone Johnson.

Edmund Bentley
Prepared mentally
To take the blame
For his name.

The pa questioned the mother,
"No more rhymes to gather?" 
They made, consequently, 
Edmund Clerihew Bentley.

E. C. Bentley
Accidentally
Ran into the liquor shelf, 
And clerihewed himself.

Edmund's clerihew and Bentley
Were also lowered gently,
But the sedan didn't go in
Due to the coffin.

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