One Day in a London Flat

'Good morning, sir,
Wake up!
Your coffee's in the
Tea cup!'

'Dash it, Jeeves,
It's just eight!
Until I myself rise
Just spectate!'

'Very good, sir,
I'd been remiss.
In passing, let me
But mention this:

Your aunt Mrs Travers said
She'd again call.
And an angry Mrs Gregson
Is in the hall.'

Limerick # 11: Ode To Srinand Fishy Rao

There was a young man named Fishy,
Who in matters of tobacco was pushy.
Better give him a smoke,
Else your neck he'll choke;
Your only escape is to become a she.

Limerick # 10: Phytology

There was a botanist who to her rank disbelief
Learnt her beau was of communist belief.
She yelled 'You make me go red!'
'Is that true?' he grinningly said,
'Marry me and I shall turn over a new leaf.'

Parthian Shot

'Yes, goodbye!' I retorted in T9. 'I too
Am ecstatic that we wont have to SMS
Each other ever again'. I viewed my
Message in the Sent Items by
Force of habit and switched off the
Instrument. Sat back and cursed her
Profusely. 'Don't cry for her, don't', I
Told myself and put my face out the
Window of the bus. 'Oh damn', I said
Aloud a moment later. Switched
My mobile phone on again, typed up a
Message furiously and sent it and
Deleted her number from the contacts
List. Without informing me my
Fingers took me to the Sent Items
Folder. Before I could look away my
Eyes read the final message: '*won't'.

Sleepless in Chennai

It's raining cats and dogs here,

By lightning and loud thunder.

Awe it inspires, and fear,

But my sleep does it plunder!

Dearest darling, sugarcane juice,

Is it raining pets at your place, too?

Let us then hum a tune you choose,

And leap like a kangaroo.

On the Advent of Teenage

Beyond any doubt
There came about
In my gastronomical
range
An astronomical
change

Limerick Latte -- #07, #08 and #09

As sms-ed to annoy a friend.

[Note: Lab = Labrador -- her hypocorism; AJX504 -- mine.]

There was a young Lab from Trichy
Who was understandably bitchy.
When called a sow
By AJX504
She also proved to be a bit touchy.

Twenty minutes of poetic exercise,
The next five -- of wild surmise:
'Was that a good limerick?
Will it flop or will it click?'
And all she remarks is 'Lol. Nice.'

There was a young girl from Sir Sivaswamy Kalalaya
When asked 'உங்க school நல்லாருக்கா நல்லாலயா ',
She fumed and said,
'You're gonna be dead
But choose பன்னிக்கோ என் பல்லாலயா இந்த கல்லாலயா'

Limerick # 06: He is All Over My Universe

He has heavier-hearted brethren,
He ensures balloons aren't barren
And stars aren't invisible.
He is fulfilled and noble!
But so are Ne, Ar, Kr, Xe and Rn.

In the Eye of the Beholder

'Love at first sight' is a phrase today
That spells more than I could say.
A dimple on a damsel sends X up and away,
Where Y and Z become her shoulders' prey.
Some chaps fall for missies with hair astray,
While others prefer it combed in neat array,
Whereas some others swoon at a braided display.
Inference of aesthetics does not rules obey:
If one bloke deems a lass' frame just OK,
The next man sends her an anon bouquet.
I know of boys dreaming through work and play
About girls you'd goggle at if you were gay.
But no one could top my pal by name J,
Who's wired up in a fashion I can't convey;
His romantic tale is far from a cliché,
For he fell in love with a maiden's X-ray.

Love's Price

There was a certain tomboy who fell in love,
Who knew not how her lad's heart to move,
And to which end her every thought strove.

Two courses to take, she judged, to win his awe:
Either improve her looks, go coy, play the ewe
Till he comes to realize that love doth he owe,

Or kidnap the boy, stuff him up in a damp hut,
Starve him, and threaten to turn him inside out
Unless on a love pact his signature did he put.

Her upbringing and pride ruled out the first case;
But her swift hands ruled in his abduction with ease,
By landing on his mid-skull a beautiful ceramic vase.

But when she gathered that the Superintendent of Police
Was father to her object of interest, Passion ran out juice
And Panic took its stead; time it was to pay love's price.

Love's price was exorbitant, and cost her all her dough:
Till the Superintendent felt he had enough,
Sack after overflowing sack was sent through!